Some life experiences change a person forever. In this article, I share how repeated experiences of family betrayal, property disputes, financial hardship, illness, and broken trust have shaped my life. This is not a story written out of hatred toward anyone; rather, it is an honest reflection on the decisions I made during difficult times, their consequences, and the life lessons I learned along the way. I hope these experiences may offer insight, encouragement, or a meaningful lesson to someone facing similar challenges.
The incident that changed my life forever in 2003
My father, while working in the field, suddenly lost consciousness, fell into a jaggery-making cauldron, and lost his life. Our family was left in shock after the accident.
At the same time, my younger sister's marriage was also confirmed. In those circumstances, we asked our relatives and friends for financial help for her wedding, but nobody came forward.
Finally, I had to take a loan of thirty thousand rupees from an elder of our family by mortgaging a part of my inherited property. We signed an agreement on a white piece of paper for a period of one year.
But, before the period ended, without our involvement or knowledge, he transferred the property to his name. Since the revenue records had already been digitized, it was legally impossible to get back.
After knowing this, we begged him so much that we were ready to pay double the amount we had borrowed. But he did not change his mind.
The very property that was the source of our family’s livelihood had brought him wealth; it had pushed us further into poverty.
The most painful thing was that he was none other than my father’s own younger brother. I stayed silent about how I used to play on his shoulders as a child, because I didn't want to hurt the family’s honour.
That incident left an indelible scar on my mind at a young age. When the young make mistakes, the elders guide them. But when the elders make mistakes, who should the young turn to?
Despite all this, we still valued family ties and respected him. No matter how angry we were, there was a feeling somewhere that wouldn't let us scold him.
However, that incident taught me a truth of life: Some wounds are not visible on the body; they remain in the mind for the rest of our lives.
Life tested me again in 2017
When my mother fell seriously ill, I had to rent out the remaining property to someone else and borrow some money for medical expenses. But there too, I was disappointed. In just two years, they not only charged me six times the amount I had paid with compound interest, but they also arbitrarily extended the lease for a few more years.
Feeling that they had helped me in my time of need, I did not want to argue too much and paid the amount they asked. This made me understand that sometimes our silence can be a big loss for us.
During that time, I reached out to so many people for help. I even tried well-known crowdfunding platforms and contacted donors, but nothing worked. In the end, I had no choice but to take out online loans. That one decision turned my life completely upside down.
My mother died of cancer. On the day of her funeral, no matter how much I explained our situation, someone collected the outstanding money. That day, I didn’t even have enough money to meet the expenses for my mother’s funeral. The helplessness I felt in that moment is something I still struggle to put into words. The memory of that day remains etched in my mind even now.
After my mother's passing, my financial condition became even worse. As a result, I was unable to pay my EMI installments on time for 3 months. During that period, I was subjected to repeated phone calls, abusive language, threats, and constant mental harassment, which became unbearable.
That incident still haunts me. Every time I remember it, I am left with one painful question: Is money more important than humanity?
In 2022, my trust was broken once again
The property buyer acted in a trustworthy manner until the registration was completed, but ultimately handed over a cheque for the large outstanding amount; the cheque, which was taken on trust, bounced.
Afterward, despite repeatedly asking for the money politely and receiving no response, I was left with no choice but to resort to legal action. However, I failed to secure justice there as well.
What is truly distressing is that the lawyer representing me, a close acquaintance, deliberately delayed the proceedings of the case. I later discovered that he had colluded with the opposing party.
Due to that delay, the cheque bounce case expired. As a result, the money due was not received. The trust placed in the lawyer also collapsed. In the end, I had to give up hope for that money.
This incident was another serious psychological trauma in my life. Each fraud gradually damaged not only my financial situation but also my trust in people.
All these series of incidents completely weakened me mentally. Due to severe stress, I suffered from hypertension. Now, even small daily stress is having a serious impact on my health. I have to take medicine for the rest of my life as per the doctors' advice.
In some cases, I don't even have money to buy those medicines. In any case, the doctors warn me not to skip them even for a single day. Now my situation has become like this—if I don't have money, I can't buy medicines; if I can't buy medicines, I can't live for long.
Meanwhile, a person dear to me in my family needed an emergency surgery. If the money had come on time when I sold the property, the surgery would have been completed at a cost of about 40,000 rupees.
But since the money was not received, the treatment had to be postponed. The delay in treatment worsened the health problem. Doctors are now saying that the same surgery will cost about twelve lakh rupees. They are also warning that if there is any further delay, it will be life-threatening and may lead to serious complications like cancer. Because of this, things that should have gone our way have ended up getting ruined.
I can't help but see the pain that person goes through every day right before my eyes. They are now unable to eat the food they once loved. They are living on liquid food most days. It deeply disturbs me that they are eating rice mixed with water many times.
No matter which celebration they attend, or how hungry they are, they suffer because they cannot eat their fill. They have reached a stage where they cannot even eat fruit.
I can eat anything without any problem. But seeing the pain that the person who depends on me goes through every time he needs to eat something makes me hate myself.
"Why do you have to live this life when you can't even afford timely treatment?" my inner self keeps asking myself.
An act of kindness turned into another struggle
Years earlier, after my father passed away, our family was left in a state of complete helplessness. Since I was living away from home for work, I was unable to properly look after our ancestral lands.
At that time, we felt sorry for a person who had no source of livelihood and gave our land to cultivate for free. But they turned our trust into an opportunity. After some time, they completely occupied the land and began claiming it as their own.
That land is my ancestors' property. All the revenue records are in my name. Legally, I am the owner. However, they are preventing me from entering my land. No matter how many times I spoke politely, my words meant nothing to them. Even without any evidence, they are pressuring me to register the property in their name.
It didn't stop there. They were even threatening me with death if I didn't agree. Trying to snatch my own property from me became another bitter experience in my life.
I resorted to the law for a solution. But even there, I did not get the justice I expected. In the hope of getting justice, I paid the fees required for the management of the case in stages. I also had to take loans at high interest rates to cover those expenses. However, time passed, but the problem remained the same.
Here, I was deeply disappointed by the behavior of some lawyers. I did not understand under what legal advice a lawyer gave me, "Register your property in my name and pay the fee I ask, and your work will be done."
On one hand, the burden of debt, on the other, the struggle over my own property. I am mentally exhausted, financially exhausted, and losing my health. I still do not know when this struggle will end.
This remaining asset is ultimately the only source of livelihood for our family. It is also the source of some income. If we lose this asset too, our family will have to start life from scratch.
My family members have made it clear that they will not give up this property under any circumstances. But my conscience is asking me another question. I am wondering if the right solution is to give it away as a gift, to end this endless struggle.
If this decision is taken, at least I can get rid of the mental stress that has been haunting me for many years. It seems that I can spend the rest of my life in some peace. But on the other hand, there is also a possibility that society will see me as someone who cannot fight. Moreover, there is a risk that even if I am no longer around, the very problem I am facing now could continue to haunt my family.
Sometimes I find myself wondering whether there might be another way to resolve this problem. If what they truly want is not the property itself but its monetary value, then perhaps paying them an amount equal to the property's worth could put an end to all of this. But with the pressures of daily life, health issues, and the weight of debt, we simply don’t have the financial capacity to make such a decision.
That is why today I stand at the crossroads of two paths. One path can give me peace of mind. The other path can protect my family's future. I still cannot find the answer to which of these two is right.
Lessons learned from this journey
Decisions made out of kindness can turn into a lifelong burden if not tempered with due caution. This experience also taught me that not everyone stays by our side during difficult times; sometimes, it is those closest to us who inflict wounds that never heal.
Nevertheless, I am not writing about this experience out of hatred toward anyone. It would be enough for me if my experience serves as a small warning or a life lesson for someone else. That alone would give meaning to what I went through.
What finally stayed behind — a weary heart
The successive deceptions, illnesses, debts, insults, fears, betrayals that I have faced in life... these all have made me a completely exhausted man today.
What bothers me most today is not about possessions but money. Finding a way to give me peace of mind.
If my family will suffer because of the decision I take, is it the right decision? On the other hand, if I continue this struggle and lose my life, is that any better? I struggle silently with these two questions every day.
Maybe you see another angle that I don't. Maybe you can think of a solution I haven't considered.
If you were in my place... what decision would you make?